BREAKING NEWS (Pittsburgh) — This morning, the new Chuck Noll Way was unveiled on the Pittsburgh’s North Shore running parallel to Art Rooney Way and Tony Dorsett Drive. This was the city’s top choice for honorary roadway with runners-up including the Santonio Holmes Highway, The Kordell Stewart Bi-Pass [sic], The Roger Goodell Toll Road, and Bungals Drive, which has been astonishingly stopped in all directions leading into Pittsburgh since it was built. The ceremony was delayed as all traffic at the Jeff Reed Intersection was diverted wide left. This is the first honorarily named route since The Polamalu Interchange, a stretch of interstate with a No Passing Zone that leads unsuspecting drivers to it’s inexplicable and often fatal dead-end.